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Kodava Wedding Tradition
For ages, Kodavas are known as warriors and to this day you find an exclusive
kodava regiment in the Indian army. Although kodavas make a sect of the larger
Hindu religion, they are special in many ways and wedding traditions are no
different.
Kodavas are a very small community in southern India and their traditions are
pretty colorful and in a way befitting the true warriors. The neighborhood knows
that there is going to be a wedding in their community when they hear Vaalaga
(band.) Interesting? Read on.
Kodava proposal for wedding always comes first from the groom’s side which is
exactly opposite of all other Indian cultures. This may not surprise westerners,
but the proposal is not from the groom’s but his parents after having
sufficiently convinced their own selves about whether horoscopes match and
whether the bride and her family enjoy a good social reputation. These things
become highly relevant as the Kodava community is pretty small, so nobody wants
to risk the ignominy of starting relationships with families of lesser standing
than theirs. This invariably implies that willingness of the families precedes
the willingness of the couple.
Another typical aspect where Kodavas differ from the rest of India is in their
reluctance to give or accept dowry or other favors as it is considered an act of
shame. This is so deep rooted that even the entire expenses of weddings is
equally shared by both the parties because they don’t want to be known as being
stingy by any which way.
Wedding begins with offerings of oblations (meedi) to ancestors (Guru Kaarona)
at their respective ancestral homes (ain maney) and prayers (Thappadaka) that
the wedding goes on without hurdles. Pandals are erected at both bride’s and
groom’s places with at least five freshly cut woods that still ooze sap.
Before the cooks begin, womenfolk worship the fire gods (Agni Puja). On the
previous night of wedding groom’s mother puts a necklace of gold and corals
around his neck in the full gathering of his entire clan which is assumed to be
the blessings of goddess Laxmi as mother, by Kodavas, is accorded the deities
place.
Dudi-Kott-Paat (sangeet) follows in both their homes, but Dudi-Kott-Paat songs
are sung by men only. When the bride and the grooms get dressed up and bow to
their parents and elders they then move to the wedding venue with their
respective entourages (Bojakarhis.) While all Hindus have brides and grooms
exchange garlands, Kodava bride reserves this right for her mother; she will
accept the garland and another necklace (Patthaak) from her to mark her extreme
respect but for a caveat- mother should not be a widow.
Kodavas make no bones with their liking for serving non-vegetarian delicacies on
the wedding day (Oorukuduva.) A traditional dance follows next with the grooms
and all men flaunting their traditional swords (peechekathis.) Bridal dress is
sari but worn in a unique fashion unlike any other Indian ehthic groups. And the
grooms dress is an atypical salwar-kameez with his stole tied around his waist.
The groom also wears a turban.
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